Not very long ago, I wrote a couple of long entries on this website talking about my mental health (HERE), and (HERE). I wrote about how I had lost a lot of independence and resilience, due to the ever-increasing descent into the void that is being ill. How needing to use a wheelchair in such a way that excludes my access to the outdoors upsets me, and that even when I can get out, it’s only with the help of others, followed promptly by multiple days of rest.
The outdoors is where I reset, and where I have previously found the strength to deal with some of the extraordinary happenings’ life threw at me. That freedom to be outside was lost when I became ever more ill, and I fell into said void. I have found it difficult to be optimistic since.
But, as I explained in those blog entries, I am not often left in such desperation that I am unable to ‘climb out of the hole’, as it were. I typically find a solution, and while they have been difficult to find this time, I have again found some solutions. Yippee!
Now, in no way are these ladders out of my ever deepening mental crises’, going to be the panaceas that I need. In fact, the only real panacea would be that my lungs are somehow fixed, I can exercise again, and I can progress forward at a pace comfortable to me (i.e.: 3×10^7 mph). That being said, these steps are going to lighten the load somewhat, and allow me to climb those metaphorical ladders just enough that I might be able to see over the top.
Robotics
I absolutely love, robotics, engineering, and coding. So I figure that this is a good place to start. Even drawing up plans for new robotics projects gives me a level of excitement I forgot existed. This includes already having drawn up a couple of plans for firstly a larger A.R.T.I robot, potentially focused around bomb disposal. Then a robot hull that will be able to skim just under the surface of water, using neutral buoyancy, and glide planes, which can use digital cameras/transmission to send images back. Making it stealth would be fun.
Then, of course, there’s the ever delightful sport of steampunk related, ‘Teapot Racing’. We have numerous plans in mind, and will likely action them separately as the years go on. Things like 4x4x4 (four-wheel drive, and four wheel steering), ghost teapots, wire frame teapots, Minecraft teapots, and more come to mind. What about a hovercraft perhaps ?
Firefly
Secondly, there’s sailing. In a couple of previous blogs, I have written about the benefits of a local charity that supports differently abled people (and their carers and family), to get out on the water. It does so with teams of volunteers supporting and helping people onto watercraft. We took full advantage of this over the last however many months, and it was amazing, however it was such a release, that the times between high tides at the difficult pontoon, made things slightly worse.
I’ll explain. Because the pontoon was so steep, I could only really have my chair wheeled down it, when the water was especially high, and when this then coincided with there being enough people to volunteer. I was so very grateful for the help they gave me, and I finally felt like I’d found something I could enjoy outdoors again, but the sessions were too few for me. So, we did something about it.
We bought a boat!
Yes, you read that right. This wheelchair using, no-energy, individual, bought a boat with my daughter (we went 50/50), and we aim to create mischief, and have a lot of fun with her. She is a 25ft (7.62 m), Cobra 750, named Firefly. She needs a lot of work, and she will need to be fitted with numerous pieces of equipment to allow me to benefit from her; and further even still, we’ll need to take people out with us for safety (we have friends with boats), but she is ours.
The thing is, though. It’s working! That charity, showed me that life and adventure were possible after reaching a point where a wheelchair was necessary, and while they could only go so far, I have been able to take the next step. Buying the boat was my idea, and my daughter thought it was worth a shot, and plans hatched shortly afterwards.
Yet again, being in outdoor spaces, feeling adventure, and breathing in fresh air did me the world of good. I was able to see a step that might have otherwise evaded me.
I have been thrilled ever since, and even making plans with my co-owner, is full of excitement, and wonder the two of us cannot wait to embrace. Will it be difficult? Of course. Will I still need to rest a lot? Undoubtably. Has it improved my headspace? Definitely.
This helped my daughter immeasurably, too, as often it was difficult to see me with no drive (her words).
So. There’s a very long way to go, but one day, perhaps, with as many disability gadgets as are needed, I may just manage to get some sailing done on a boat we can call ours. Perhaps even then, I can build up some strength and some stamina, and I could start trying to recover from this ordeal?
Imagine, one day, in the very distant future, me being able to go for a run (well, one can dream)!
Now wouldn’t that be something. Baby steps for now.
Peace
Emma.